My View

We've all been there.  I learned today that a friend of my son's from elementary school was shot and killed in his neighborhood over the weekend.  His older brother went to prison for stabbing someone to death -- at the age of 15.  That brother and my son were best friends. Adversity is in everyone's life, at some point.  And we all try to overcome it -- at least, most of us -- in different ways. Now a new study says that self-regulation is the key. Self-what? Self-regulation may hold the key to helping young adults overcome their risk for developing alcohol and drug problems, according to recent research from the University of Georgia, as reported by newswise.com.  The study looked at 225 non-college-educated adults aged 18-25 from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who grew up in rural areas. Led by Assaf Oshri, an associate professor in the UGA College of Family and Consumer Sciences, the research team found that young adults who experience abuse as children ha

A reminder of life's fragility https://www.stamfordadvocate.com/opinion/article/Deborah-DiSesa-Hirsch-op-ed-A-reminder-of-13218695.php

The night I met him, I knew he was going to become my husband.  And he did.  OK, so it took almost 11 years to get there -- and seven more years to have our kid (when I was 47!).  But I trusted my gut and usually, it seems to work out fine. Now a new study says I'm not alone.  "In gut we trust when it comes to choices," reports newswise.com. Why do some people trust their gut instincts over logic? It could be that they see those snap decisions as a more accurate reflection of their true selves and therefore are more likely to hold them with conviction, according to research published by the American Psychological Association, the web site notes. “We offer what we believe to be a novel and unique approach to the question of why people come to hold certain attitudes,” says lead researcher Sam Maglio, PhD, an associate professor of marketing at the University of Toronto Scarborough. “Focusing on feelings as opposed to logic in the decision-making process led particip

Who knew?  Being nice to your employees can really help your bottom line. According to a new study, it pays to be nice to your employees, newswise.com reports.  Showing discipline with kindness, compassion to employees results in better job performance, the web site adds. New research from Binghamton University, State University at New York   finds that showing compassion to subordinates almost always pays off, especially when combined with the enforcement of clear goals and benchmarks. “Being benevolent is important because it can change the perception your followers have of you,” says Chou-Yu Tsai, an assistant professor of management at Binghamton University’s School of Management. “If you feel that your leader or boss actually cares about you, you may feel more serious about the work you do for them.” Tsai and his fellow researchers wanted to determine how both the presence and lack of benevolence affects the job performance of followers. Tsai partnered with Bingham

OK.  So you're almost done with the presentation, just a few more slides and copy, 10 minutes before that 4 p.m. meeting when your boss sticks her head in the room and asks you to get on a conference call with her right away.  She says it's important. So what do you do?  According to a new study, you act like you. Huh? Turns out we act most like ourselves in a time crunch . When they must act quickly, selfish people are likely to act more selfishly than usual, while pro-social people behave even more pro-socially, a new study has found, newswise.com reports. The results suggest that when people don’t have much time to make a decision, they go with what they’ve done in similar situations, notes  Ian Krajbich , co-author of the study and assistant professor of  psychology and  economics  at The Ohio State University. “People start off with a bias of whether it is best to be selfish or pro-social. If they are rushed, they’ll tend to go with that bias,” Krajbich says.

OK.  So you've gone on that job interview but you really hate writing to thank the person who talked to you.  It's boring, it's embarrassing and it's just too much work, in these days of the digital divide.  I like to thank people.  On the rare instances a person lets me get in front of him or her on the express grocery line, I will thank them over and over.  If a car lets me pull out into a lane, I wave my hand in thanks so long they may think I'm having a seizure. But I've found that being nice to people and expressing gratitude  makes me feel better. In fact, sometimes it can even make my day. Why is that?  Experts have lots of reasons but a new study says that expressing your gratitude is more powerful than you think, not just for the person thanked, but for you, too.  The study revolved around sending a thank-you letter, according to newswise.com.. "It is common knowledge that practicing gratitude is a healthy habit. But when it comes to w