My View

https://www.stamfordadvocate.com/opinion/article/DiSesa-Hirsch-op-ed-A-parent-tries-to-learn-to-13098388.php

Do you have too much stuff ?  That may be the reason you're always late for meetings. Believe it or not, a new study has shown that people who have too many material things aren't just greedy. They're procrastinators , too.  It shows a high correlation between procrastinating, and well, clutter. According to newswise.com, the more stuff you have, the more likely you are to be a procrastinator.  Why? An overabundance of “stuff” can have a detrimental effect on a person’s mental health and disrupt their sense of home, says procrastination researcher Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University. Ferrari and co-authors investigated the connection between procrastination and clutter and discovered that chronic procrastination can lead to problems with clutter in the home. Ferrari's previous research determined that procrastination has many causes and consequences and that it’s different from delay, pausing, waiting, pondering or prioritizing.

OK.  So this isn't exactly a brainstorm.  But did you know that if you are prone to guilt, you are probably more trustworthy than someone who isn't? Great.  Guilt is good for something else.  (As a friend says, an Italian mom says, "Eat this, or I'll kill you."  A Jewish mom says, "Eat this or I'll kill myself."  I have both.) ANYway, newswise.com reports that guilt is, yes, a powerful, motivator. New research from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business finds that when it comes to predicting who is most likely to act in a trustworthy manner, one of the most important factors is the anticipation of guilt, according to newswise.com. In a study, “Who is Trustworthy? Predicting Trustworthy Intentions and Behavior,” Chicago Booth Assistant Professor  Emma Levine , Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania’s T. Bradford Bitterly and Maurice Schweitzer, and Carnegie Mellon University Tepper School of Business’ Associate Professo

OK.  Who's ever started to tell a partner a story and have him (sorry, guys!) interrupt to talk about something entirely unrelated? I'm thinking, tennis.  Oh, wait, that's my husband. Of course, women do it, too, but a new study says that, instead of complaining, women,  prompt .  It's that simple, apparently, according to a newswise.com story. Since men, when they hear a problem, typically try to solve it, the web site notes, that infuriates women.  But that's not what they want.  Most times, it's just to vent. A prompt reminds your spouse of what you're seeking. Lifelong habits are hard to change, for all of us, and that's why a prompt can make all the difference, putting something on a partner's radar in advance so that you're less likely to feel disappointed afterwards. A form of assertiveness, prompting is how we're good to ourselves, not leaving something to chance when we can increase the odds. Better to offer a prompt

OK.  So we all know what a bully is (thank you, President Trump). But a new study says that an aggressor isn't always a bully.  I guess we know that, too. According to newswise.com, an aggressor is not necessarily a bully -- and that matters.   Spotting a bully is more nuanced than it might seem, because there is a difference between general aggressive behavior and bullying.  They are not the same thing, a new paper by a University at Buffalo psychologist who is among the country’s leading authorities on aggression, bullying and peer victimization, says at the web site. “It’s important for us to realize this distinction, in part because every aggressive behavior we see is not bullying,” notes Jamie Ostrov, lead author of the forthcoming paper to be published in a special issue of the  Journal of Child and Family Studies . “Certainly aggressive behaviors are problematic in their own right and also deserve our attention, but recognizing the differences in the two behavio

Now I've heard everything.  Would you believe someone has come up with a three-step program to have fun ? Or, as they call it, "3 research-based ways to maximize the the fun of leisure activities," according to newswise.com. Big surprise, though.  Research has shown that scheduling fun takes all the, well, fun, out of it,  if it is not done right, the web site quotes Selin Malkoc work, an associate professor of  marketing   at  The Ohio State University’s  Fisher College of Business . Here's how to have fun planning for fun: Schedule more roughly . In a study published last year, researchers found that scheduling leisure activities makes them less fun because the strict beginning and end times disrupted their free-flowing nature. “The minute you put limits on a fun activity, you’re robbing yourself of some of the enjoyment,” says Malkoc at newswise.com. She recommends that if you have to schedule leisure, say you’ll do it “after work” rather than “a